How the Stork Finally Arrived

My birth story starts almost a week before Ellie Jane arrived in the world.

Her due date was April 18.  On Monday, the 16th, I went in for a checkup.  I wasn't dilated at all, and I was only 75% effaced and the baby was at -2 station (being engaged in the pelvis is 0, the head crowning is +5).

I made an appointment to come back for another check on Friday the 20th, knowing the baby could arrive on her own any day.  I was told I would be induced if nothing had changed by the middle of the next week.

Due to my gestational diabetes, I would not be allowed to go any longer than one week past my due date.  My mom, who was scheduled to leave on the 25, changed her ticket to return on the 30th.

And then we waited.

Due Date Double Rainbow!

I worked to finish my action research paper (yes, I am a master procrastinator!), while sitting on an exercise ball trying to move the baby down. I emailed the paper to my advisor on the evening of the 18th, determined to give birth to something on that day.  There was a beautiful double rainbow that evening which I took as a sign of good things to come.

On Thursday, I started having contractions that felt different, and I was positive that when I went in on Friday that they would tell me I had started dilating.

Friday came, we went to the doctor, and nothing had changed. To say I was disappointed is an understatement. It seemed my pelvis simply was not wide enough to allow the baby to move into position, and because of that, nothing else was happening either. Induction was no guarantee that a vaginal birth would be successful, the doctor said she felt there was only a 20% chance. And that would be after a long and hard labor.  Even if the baby moved into position, and her head came out, there was the possibility that her shoulders could get stuck. The doctor strongly advised me to have a scheduled c section. This was not the news I had imagined hearing.

Although I had known that a c section was a possibility due to my pelvis, I had thought of it as a last resort. I had written out my birth plan with a natural, vaginal birth in mind.

The doctor said we could try inducing or we could just schedule the c section. She said it was my choice, and that whatever choice I made, it was important to feel good about it. She said I could call back with my decision.

Goody's (picture taken in 2000)

I started crying, feeling conflicted and confused about what to do.  I needed chocolate or something sweet. My mom suggested Goody's in Hyde Park so we went there and I got an ice cream float. My mom and I talked in the car about options as we drove to the Boise Greenbelt to walk in the sunshine along the river.

I called Brandi, my friend and birth coach, I called my sister Elisabeth. Both of them were supportive of whatever decision I made, but they both gently advised scheduling the c section to keep both myself and Ellie Jane safe and healthy.  My mom and I headed home.

I wanted to call one more person, my friend Genevieve, before calling the doctor. I didn't get Genevieve, but I imagined what she would say.

I thought about how I had beaten so many odds on my way to have this baby. My fertility rate with medical help had only been 18%. Even with the medication, my body had only produced one egg. There had been only a 20% chance of conceiving on the first try...And I had. There was a 20% chance that she had Down's Syndrome, but so far the ultrasounds had shown no signs of it. And now there was only a 20% chance I would have the birth I wanted.  I decided I wouldn't take the chance this time.

I called the doctor and left a message that I wanted to schedule the c section. Then, to make it really official, I posted the news on my Facebook.

(In the midst of this, my masters advisor had emailed back that my paper had fulfilled the requirements, no changes or editing needed, and I would be getting my degree posted in May!)

Genevieve called back and said exactly what I knew she would. I had made the right decision. She told me  the birth was not the most important part of the process, no matter how it happened I would have a beautiful baby girl, and that was what to focus on.

The arrangements for the procedure were finalized on Saturday morning. The c section would be Sunday, April 22, Earth Day, at 10 am.

My mom and I kept busy Saturday morning putting together the crib. Then we relaxed.

I was due at the hospital at 8 am. My friend Katrina drove my mom and me there, neither of us were up to the task of driving. We met Brandi there. The two hours of Pre-Op consisted of being hooked up to monitors, answering lots of questions about my health, talking to the doctor about the procedure, talking with the anesthesiology nurse about the procedure, and just waiting.  I was grateful to have Brandi and my mom to keep me company.

At 10:05 I was wheeled to the operating room.  The spinal, which I'd been dreading (and I hadn't been planning for an epidural - the idea of a needle in my spine was something I'd wanted to avoid at almost all costs), turned out to be just fine...if weird.  It burned just a bit going in, and my nurse stood in front of me, telling me I was doing fine.  Then I laid down, with my arms outstretched on either side of me (one arm had the iv and the other a blood pressure cuff) and the drape was put in front of me.  I had an oxygen mask on my face (it didn't fit and was bumping up against my glasses).  I laid there and I worried the spinal wouldn't work.

Slowly I started to become numb from the toes up to my waist. The anesthesiology team made sure to point out where I could feel and where I couldn't, and pointed out that I was breathing just fine on my own, so I didn't need to worry.  I was very thankful for their extra care. At 10:23, Brandi was brought into the operating room (I know the time because she'd just looked at her phone).  She took my hand and the operation began.

All I could hear were indistinct noises, and I tried to figure out what exactly was going on, how close I was to seeing my baby.  At one point, the doctor assisting told me she was laying almost on top of me in order to push the baby down my abdomen. They also (I don't know if I knew this at the time) had to use a vacuum to help get the baby out.  Those two things let me know that a c section had been the right choice.

Love at First Sight

Then, there she was!

She was held up over the drape, red and naked.  I don't think she was crying then, but she was whisked over to be wiped down and wrapped up and she did start crying then for a little bit. I wanted to hold her so badly. It felt surreal, like this new baby wasn't mine yet until I could feel her. Brandi brought her over to me and held her near me.  I managed to reach up my hand, in spite of the blood pressure cuff, to touch her head, and I kissed her cheek.

She was taken for a proper bath and weighing and other things, while the operation was finished up. It seemed to take an eternity but in reality it was only about 25 minutes. I arrived back in the same area I'd spent the two hours before the operation.  Brandi and Ellie Jane and a nurse were waiting for me.  The nurse had done Ellie Jane's hand print and foot print for me.  And she'd been bathed and cleaned.  She was handed to me and I held her close.

We were in the recovery area for about two hours, while feeling returned to my legs.  A pediatrician came by to check Ellie Jane, everything was fine.  She breastfed easily (much more easily than I thought she would!).  And then she fell asleep. I kept holding her, this amazing creature, feeling complete happiness and peace. I was floating on Cloud Nine...and not just because of the pain pills.

Shortly after 1 pm, we were in our hospital room, where we would stay for my three days of recovery.

The afternoon is a blur of nurses checking on us, trying to get Ellie Jane to wake up to eat so her blood sugar could get tested to make sure she didn't have any issues from my gestational diabetes (that is a story for another blog post but the short story is that she didn't have any blood sugar issues so all the milkshakes and candy I didn't have were worth it!!), and feeling too hot while my body recovered from its first major surgery. I finally talked to my dad and Elisabeth around 6 pm.  And then we settled in for the evening. All the while, Ellie Jane slept through the excitement and I continued to cuddle her close.

While the birth didn't happen like I thought it would, it wasn't the most important thing that day.

The most important thing was the arrival of my daughter, Eleanor Jane Aibhlin, my beautiful child that I had waited so long for.

Welcome to the world, Ellie Jane!

Born April 22, 2012, at 10:36 am
8 pounds, 11 ounces.
20 inches long.
14 inch head circumference.