2013 Resolutions

2013 will be the year I turn 40, so it's an extra important year, but I'm not going overboard with my resolutions in spite of the temptation.

Resolutions:

1. Pay off credit card debt
2. Take Ellie to Pacific Grove
3. Lose 10 pounds

Father's Day

I am blessed to have an incredible dad. He has nurtured me, laughed with me, encouraged me, and has given me more good advice than I can list here.  I have friends who are fathers who are deeply involved in their children's lives. I recognize the importance of fatherhood.


I treasure each conversation I have with my dad, more so the older he gets, and now it has come home to me in a very real sense that my daughter will not have that.  Today is the first Father's Day of my child's life, and she does not have a father.  I knew this, when I chose to take the path I did - using donor insemination to have a child - but it was an abstract idea that I didn't fully understand. Now the reality has set in. This day brings conflicted emotions - and they've taken me a little by surprise.

Ellie won't have a positive relationship with a dad like I did. The flip side is that she won't have a negative relationship either, it's possible I'm telling myself that to make myself feel better. And she will have my dad.  He is an awesome grandfather to my niece and already has been bonding with Ellie via Skype.  I can't wait for her to meet him face to face in a couple months. And I am blessed to have several wonderful guys in my life - I hope to have Ellie love them like I do.

I'm grateful to have a few years to figure this out before Ellie is aware of Father's Day.

Until then, I wish everyone who is a father, a happy joyous day, you are immensely important in your children's lives. I wish my dad a very happy Father's Day, thank you for everything you have done.  And to those of you who have conflicted feelings about Father's Day, why-ever that might be, I wish you peace.

One Month of Motherhood

I've stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop. At first I was waiting for the baby blues to hit, then for the sleep deprivation to kick in, then I started to worry when colic might start. I seem to have dodged these troubles, for now, and what I've started to realize is that worrying won't stop something from happening, it doesn't prepare me for it, it just uses up energy that I could be focusing on my baby. I'm stopping the quest for perfection. Having taken on the challenge of single motherhood by choice, I've felt pressure to be able to handle it all, without, as the old commercial said, letting them see me sweat. And, to be honest, I've lucked out in many ways with my baby, but it's still a lot to deal with. I don't have someone to watch Ellie Jane while I go to the grocery store, or someone to clean the house or deal with Bob and Alice. It's all me. On Tuesday, I didn't get anything checked off my to do list...and it was great, but there was this nagging feeling that by just napping and spending time with my baby I wasn't doing enough. But it is. Ellie Jane needs my focus, the laundry, the cleaning, other things can wait. I'm lucky to be home with Ellie for the first four months of her life. And I'm going to enjoy each day, focusing on the important things, not worrying about what might happen or how well I'm doing. She thinks I'm doing great.

How the Stork Finally Arrived

My birth story starts almost a week before Ellie Jane arrived in the world.

Test your knowledge in "You Know Bob!"

In honor of Bob's 10th Birthday, a milestone that was doubtful many times as Bob battled health issues, there is a party going on at Bob's house with a fun game AND anyone who can't make it can play along at home!  (Sorry, I couldn't figure out how to instantly transport cake to you!)  The prize (for those who aren't in attendance) is a $10 gift card to Amazon.com.  Send in your answers via a comment on this post.

Answers and winners will be revealed at 8 pm MDT this evening.

You Know Bob!

Guess That Baby!

Here are all the guesses for the arrival of Baby Ellie Jane.  The prize is bragging rights and a photo of Ellie Jane proclaiming you the winner. (I guess there will be four winners - one for each category?)  Her official due date is April 18. (Guesses will be crossed out as the date passes.)

• April 6, 6:06 pm,  10lbs. 6 oz - Brandi Janssen
• April 7, 8:03 am, 8 lbs 2 oz, 19" - Kris Herup
• April 8 - Ray Wiberg (he picked his birthday)
• April 9, 1:16 pm, 6 lbs 13 oz, 19" - Jennifer Nix
• April 11, 2:35 am, 6 lbs 10 oz, 19" - Kathy Gomez
• April 12, 2:50 pm, 8 lbs 2 oz, 19.5" - Andrea Alexander
• April 13, 7 lbs 13oz - Jenn Hoffman
• April 13, 1 pm., 8 1bs 5 oz, 21" - Abby Wolford
• April 14, 4:00 am, 8 lbs 5 oz, 19"- Genevieve Farrow
• April 14, 7:06 pm, 7 lbs 5 oz, 18.5" - Ashley Shofner
• April 15, 3:30 pm, 7 lbs 3 oz, 19" - Melyssa Ferro
• April 16, 6:43 am, 6 lbs 8 oz, 19" - Becky DeMark (she picked her birthday)
• April 16, 8:16 am, 8 lbs 14 oz, 20" - Elisabeth McCaffery  (Her second guess is April 14)
• April 16, 12:35 (pm?), 8 lbs 7 oz, 18" - Larissa Bond (she picked her birthday)
• April 17, 7 pm, 8 lbs 4 oz, 20.5" - Jerry McCaffery
• April 17, 9:45 am, 7 lbs 1 oz, 19.5" - Holly Porterfield
• April 17, 10:03 pm, 8 lbs 1 oz, 19" - Michelle Robin
• April 18, 5:35pm, 7lbs 15 oz, 19.5" - Danielle Jenacaro
• April 19, 7 am, 7 lbs 1 oz - Melissa Stevenson
• April 19, Noon, 8 lbs, 21" - Nancy McCaffery
• April 20, 3 am - Amanda Renk
• April 21, 3:45 am, 8 lbs 10 oz, 20" - Rachelle Ayers
• April 21, 4:39 am, 8lbs. 3oz - Melissa Okey
• April 21 - Rebecca Coates
• April 22, 8 lbs. 13 oz.,  20" - Beth Adamo
• April 23, 7:28am - Glen Nakasako
• April 23,10:20 am, 7 lbs 9 oz, 18" - Catherine McCaffery (chosen because Bob's birthday is the 24th and Alice's the 25th)
• April 24, 7:14 am - D. Armstrong
• April 24, 9 pm, 8 lbs 4 oz - Camille Baron
• April 25, 7:45 pm, 7 lbs 11 oz, 20" - Jennifer Kok (she picked her birthday)
• April 30 - Jen Moore 
• May 1, 8 lbs 3 oz, 22" - Susanne Saville

Someday We'll Find It

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.

"The Rainbow Connection"

Something I'm supposed to be.  Expectations can be great, but they can also bring a person to a standstill, uncertain of how to go on, how to achieve the goal.  I have expectations of myself, of how I should be as a teacher, a friend, a family member, a student, a mother, a citizen.  I'm sure I could list more but those are the ones that come to mind.

Baking

a finished loaf
(my pan is slightly wider than standard)

The recipe is from Mollie Katzen's Sunlight Cafe.  The cookbook is vegetarian and devoted to breakfast. I recommend it, the recipes are easy and the ingredients are easy to find. This bread is quick, it doesn't require rising time. It's my go-to recipe when I have to bring something for a staff breakfast.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Protein Bread

2012 Resolutions

I have several goals I want to accomplish this year and I thought I would post them so I have somewhere to find them and look at them.